Email: alphastandardiqtest@gmail.com

The subject line format is mandatory. Emails that don't follow it are filtered to junk.

General contact or feedback

Your NAME in capital letters, then your reason in three words or less inside inverted commas. Capitals are allowed inside the inverted commas, but the last letter must not be a capital.

DAVE "thanks heaps mate"
POLLY "what nonsence yay"
PILLOCK "where's my mummy"
MARY "I am late"
SVENPEG "all your bass"
KARREN "Im calling police"
TOM "thanks for test"
PENNY "I sent Pics"

Developers

DEV in capitals, then your name inside brackets, all lowercase with no capital letters at all.

DEV [bob]
DEV [kate]
DEV [devon]

We aim to respond to all enquiries by sea mail within 3 to 16 weeks. Please include a stamped, self-addressed return envelope clearly marked "SEA MAIL".

ALTERNATIVELY, ALL CORRESPONDENCE IS ENTERED INTO A DRAW FOR A LOTTERY TO WIN A CHANCE TO ENTER A RAFFLE, WHOSE WINNER WILL BE SHORTLISTED TO POSSIBLY RECEIVE A REPLY BY EMAIL. TO QUALIFY, PLEASE SEND YOUR EMAIL ON AN EVEN-NUMBERED DAY OF THE MONTH (2, 4, 6, 8 ETC.). CORRESPONDENCE RECEIVED ON AN ODD-NUMBERED DAY (1, 3, 5 ETC.) WILL BE AUTOMATICALLY REDIRECTED TO SPAIN BY OUR COMPUTER AND READ TO CHILDREN AS POMISH SCHOOL POETRY.